ILM's 2005 collaborative mix project hoonja-doonja!

February 14, 2005

Go Home Productions, "Girl Wants to Say Goodbye to Rock and Roll"

1. Ew writing writing writing. I haven’t slept in 30 hours, after having slept 14 hours yesterday, a nifty trick I’m likely to repeat tonite due to school, poor planning, and generally dicking the dog as they say. Patterns emerge, subsume, destroy me. Which is to say even on a good day I’d look at say Jody’s or Ally’s posts and do what I do when faced with superior efforts which is not even attempt to equal cuz no way do I equal it never mind top it even with sleep or coffee or even - just imagine - inspiration. O and the theme - um, gee it’d be crazy to hear this on the radio! O man! In a better world than this my brother, in a better world than this! Ie right click, save link target as, if you don’t have but do want, a maybe not so likely combo since this boot’s nearly a year old and hardly from an obscure source if you’re still paying attention to boots in 2004 or 5. Everything below: me showing how I can bore you - and how!, drop some personal with a tangent to the topic at hand, kick some blog, distract the guards. BLOGGGGGGGGGG. TREBUCHET ALL IN YO SHET.
2. Autumn 2001 I’m working in a record store in Athens, Wuxtry, where Pete Buck of early 80s faves REM worked, where John Fernandes of late 90s faves the Olivia Tremor Control works - Namedrops! WOO! I get the job becuz the guy who was stocking the ‘stuff besides indie rock and jazz’ has left. His name - Dangermouse! Another namedrop!, only this one’s related to the matter at hand cuz um, bootlegs, yes yes, ironic, it’s like that Grant Morrison JLA where the probabilities went whacky and Superman became the Green Lantern and Batman’s folx never croaked. I forget what happened to Martian Manhunter in that one. OK some more namedrops for no reason, as with above: when I was a kid future basketball hall-of-famer Tree Rollins lived down the street from my grandparents and I went fishing with him. O! and I sold Michael Stipe his copy of Rooty, which is pertinent cuz that lp featured the track “Romeo” which featured on a prominent bootleg at the height of the bastard pop craze. This track was called “The Magnificent Romeo” and it was magnificent and it was romeo! O!! and another time we saw some guy standing at the front door in some jean shorts and a big white Georgia Bulldogs t-shirt and like corny David Duval sunglasses, just standing at the front door and staring at the fliers and what on it for several minutes and then the guy comes in and asks me and John if we have any Groove Armada and we go ‘no’ and he leaves and me and John look at each other and go ‘whatta dork’. And it was Mike Mills. Which is pertinent (I hope I’m using that word right) cuz Groove Armada worked with Fatboy Slim who had a protobootleg o sorts with the “Satisfaction” remix of “Rockafeller Skank”, only maybe forget it cuz it kinda sucked, o and Mike Mills is in addition to being the name of a dorky bassist is also the name of a noted designer who’s an entirely different person from the bassist and has (probably) worked with Beck, who had a protobootleg o sorts with the “Highway to Hell” remix of “Mixed Bizness”, only maybe forget it cuz it kinda sucked too. THIS IS HIGHLY PERTINENT INFO AND IS LEADING SOMEWHERE VERY VERY REWARDING TO YOU THE READER.
3. Yeah, so right click, then ‘save link target as’. The rest of this, hmm, well. Don't.
4. Autumn 2001 I’m working in a very cif clientele record store, the three copies of The Blueprint I bother to stock remain unsold when I eventually leave a few months later, I never do stock Miss E…So Addictive cuz the one promo I put out used for seven bucks a week before release date is still sitting there unsold when I leave a few months later. Scene set. It’s autumn 2001 I’m working in a record store when I come in with a cd-r with some mp3s I’ve burnt, specifically, PERTINENTLY, the one mp3, yeah no shit “A Stroke of Genie-us” you guessed it, that prompted me to dl in the first place (though not the first track I dled, that’d be “Radar Love” by Golden Earring. Hh.) a practice I’d avoided previously for fears of Pandora’s box scenarios (these fears were warranted), but right now I gotta gottta play this track for someone so I’m playing it for everyone, anyone, and noone, nobody, is recognizing the vocals. I’m having to explain to some people who Christina Aguilera is. The Strokes though was recognized, pretty much immediately, pretty much every time. (Side note but extremely interesting to you the reader and I’m sure you’ll make use of it in your day-to-day life: the first person to recognize Xina, to ‘get it’, was a girl I was crazy for who ‘didn’t feel the same way about me’ ie. She didn’t want to fuck me But she did end up dating ie. Fucking a guy who looked A LOT like me! JUST LIKE IN THAT JLA WHERE BATMAN’S FOLX DON’T CROAK!!! WHAT A GIRL WANTS FOLX! NOT MY SORRY ASS!).
5. Intermission. I played this for a friend who amazingly enough was familiar with Xina and who related this little story which is better than anything I got - sorry folx! - and which I will relate to you now. My friend was babysitting her five year old niece who was coloring absentmindedly, and singing loudly passionately “What a Girl Wants”. My friend asked her niece what exactly a girl wants and my friend’s niece stared at her quizzically and thought for a minute and then finally said: “Cake.”
6. Spring 2004 after ten years I’m reunited with my youngest sister due to the worst event of my life during the worst year of my life (haha and I’ve fallen in love and attempted suicide and did neither during this year so that’s saying something!), but I’ve got my little sister again. She’s annoyingly hipper than me, only listens to hip-hop, dancehall, r&b, country and pop but definitely not any rock (ie she’s a young american - allllllllllllright), almost always has any mixtape I give her before I give it to her, intimidates the hell out of me truth be told, but I was able to burn her leaked copies of the Nellys prerelease for her so I take cool points where I can get them. She’s a big Xina fan, and though I tend to lean Britney (who’s “Oops! I Did It Again” mixed with Eminem’s “The Real Slim Shady” remains the only non-”Encore” boot I’ve ever heard on commercial radio, unlike this track which I’ve only heard via ipod or cd meaning Martian Manhunter might hear it on the radio - Top 40 from another world! Dig it! - but Batman? Superman? NEVER!) I’ve come around to Xina. She sounds great here, when she cries havoc and lets slip the vox of more it meshes really really well with the VU guitar, one of those pop climaxes you’ll take in every context. And then Jimmy Somerville comes in to seal the squeal. Never can say goodbye girl. Happy endings Happy endings.

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